No Meat on Fridays

It's haunted me all my life
A certain irritation of my normal ways
Harder to swallow than a knife
The Lenten practice: no meat on Fridays

I'm a carnivore by nature
I see no use in this custom
But, I must endure this torture
If I am to see God's kingdom

It's a fight between Mom and me
I say "burger"; she says "fish"
There's only one escape I see
Maybe I'll become Baptist

No meat on Fridays'll be my death
I'll be anemic before I'm holy
But I declare with all my breath,
"I'm glad as hell it's Fridays only!"